Search Results for: blog principles for talking about special needs

Adoption Blog Month in Review: August 2007

A major theme for this month in the adoption blog was discussions—especially discussions with your child, but also discussions with others. I began the month sharing my four-year-old daughter Regina’s questions about her droopy eyelid in Talking With Kids About Special Needs, and in Principles for Talking with Kids About Special Needs I discuss how I tried to use the same tenets for talking about her eye that I use when talking about adoption issues. Regina also figures prominently in the next blogs. She told me, “I Don’t Like My Skin”. I stumbled through a response, shared in I Don’t … Continue reading →

Talking About Tough Questions

Adoption, under the best possible circumstances, involves loss. Few birthparents deliberately plan to have a child they will have to let someone else parent. Adoptive parents, like all parents, want to shield their children from sadness and from things they think may be damaging to their self-esteem. However, the loss of trust in their parents that secrecy creates is potentially more damaging than the original losses. Books such as Lois Melina’s Making Sense of Adoption and Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child, by Betsy Keefer and Jayne Schooler, recommend age-appropriate ways of conveying a child’s story to … Continue reading →

Talking with Children About Special Needs

Many children who are adopted have some special needs. Children adopted from the foster care system may show emotional and behavioral needs related to neglect or frequent separations (although most of these kids do very well, contrary to the media focus on problems). Children from overseas may have a birth defect which is correctable by relatively routine surgery common in this country but not in theirs, for example a cleft palate or club foot. In some cultures facial differences can make life harder and these children may be more likely to be placed for adoption. Parents may consider a child … Continue reading →

New Duty to God Program

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Every once in a while, the church changes and updates their programs to better serve the needs of the members. I personally love how these programs, while the same in purpose and desired outcome, adapt to use new technologies and relevant goals to strengthen and uplift our youth. I also love how the changes to this program involve the family. According to the Questions and Answers section on LDS.org, the program “provides opportunities for parents and leaders to strengthen relationships with young men” and can “easily be integrated into family home evening and quorum meetings and activities.” Families are a … Continue reading →

Young Mothers: Pray, Study and Teach the Gospel

In conclusion of the young mothers series based on “Daughters of God” Elder Ballard’s final point for mothers was to pray, study and teach the gospel. When we think about the importance of families in the plan of salvation, we realize the importance that this final counsel really has. It is essential that we take the time to teach the gospel to our children, and that we strengthen our own testimonies. It is important to regularly study the scriptures and to pray. A mother’s testimony and beliefs will be passed on to her children. If you want your children to … Continue reading →

Great Expectations

This is another blog about how my feelings didn’t quite match up to my beliefs when put to the test. Is it easier to accept that our adopted children have special needs than it is with our birth children? To be sure, knowing ahead of time helps. We adopted our first daughter knowing there was a 50-50 chance she’d need open heart surgery within two years. It was a common, “routine” operation, we were assured, and we glibly proceeded with plans. One day I stopped short and realized that if someone told me my birth son, then a toddler, would … Continue reading →

The SECRET: Do We Attract Hardships With Our Negativity?

Certainly by now most of you have heard of the best-selling book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, which has been applauded on talk shows like Oprah, and is being praised by businesses, foundations, and societies all over the country. But in case you’re one of the few who has missed out, let me briefly enlighten you. The “secret” is the law of attraction, and the idea that we attract into our lives what we think about most. The book uses this premise to empower us, stating that we can have whatever we want, if we will only envision ourselves as … Continue reading →

Teaching Modesty: Creating a “Private Zone”

All children are vulnerable to predators—people who might want to take advantage of their innocence. Children on the autism spectrum and those with developmental delays are obviously even more at risk because of their inability to understand what behaviors are appropriate and inappropriate. An adult or older child might confuse a special needs child with terms that seem harmless like “friendship” or “hugs” or “secret.” And even if our children are never put in a dangerous situation, they could inadvertently embarrass themselves by exposing or talking about their private parts at improper times and places. Especially as our children approach … Continue reading →